Thinking about the movie clockwork orange I saw that when I was 15 and shortly after I has an argument with my mother because I told her that I was tired of having to do the housework all the time and no one else does anything. My mum got really upset and started shouting at me and impressionable as I was I got it into my head to just dance away from her singing "I am singing in the rain" which got me one mighty hell of a beating.
Thinking about it now I wonder why she reacted so aggressively because if my kids did that I dont think I could keep a straight face and would have to just burst out on roaring laughter as I have done with my son before who has joked around whilst I am trying to address some issues with him.
Anyhow I thought I run this little memory in relation to this movie past you and yes I still love that track singing in the rain
Love
Gabriele
-,-{@
Sorry if it is going off topic a bit!
-,-{@
-- Edited by Gabriele at 11:12, 2008-12-02
Gabriele said
Dec 1, 2008
Here are some links from a document my GP gave me to have a look what this cognative therapy she referred me to is all about:-
Hope the cognitive therapy helps. I have a weekly group but i have not been in weeks, although will try to make it this week!!
Col explained the forum very well. Don't take things personally. We can be really quiet sometimes and often people will catch up without needing to sign in, then reply/post when they have the time, or something to say. But i very much doubt it is at all personal Gabriele, just the nature of this forum.
You already have people here for you, so no need to feel alone. Hugs Heather xxx
Gabriele said
Dec 1, 2008
Thanks for that link moocow and here is another good site that explains it very well and can give people a better understanding of PTSD:-
I have been diagnosed with it for some time and indeed most of my hep c symptoms were put down to PTSD as my GP knew about the problems I had in my private life and there was my car accident as well, which was very serious but never got counselling for it.
Anyhow my doctor has referred me for cognitive therapy because I have hep c for which I am ever so glad as I had been turned down for counselling on the ground that I was not fit enough to go through it, so I just tried to manage as well as I could and I have not really done too bad either, looking judging by what I have achieved since I took that brave step to leave my ex.
The anti depressant meds is still going fine and do hope they will help me through tx for hep c and PTSD as each seems as bad as the other.
In terms of PTSD I tend can get really bad panic attacks over things that might seem stupid to other in particular over sexual things I can be extremely touchy thus dont like to be in an environment where I might have to deal with such things.
I also suffer from this hyper alertness, were I feel constantly as if I am in danger thus get easily sacred of people I dont know, which often doesnt show perhaps as fear , because I will defend myself with what I perceive as a robust argument but can get into stupid loops with it as well and perhaps come across as a lot more provocative than scared.
Of course there also the reruns of certain events that I often just cannot get out of my head and only watch myself going over and over it all again thus I have taken in the past to occupy myself with learning about computers particular web technologies but often found it hard to pull myself away out of sheer fear how I would feel once I switch off the pc and look around me facing my reality, with that going on for many years whilst I was collecting more traumas in the last few years more or less on a daily basis.
How my children had to suffer at times was traumatic in itself and I know thats why he did get so nasty with them as it was the most effective torture of them all and there were some other very horrid thing going on.
PTSD is no walk in the park and I would not wish it on my worst enemy but I know I will do everything to learn to manage it, if not totally eradicate these negative forces as I have the confidence that I am able to do it but I need to give myself time and be patient as it cannot be changed overnight.
Thanks for being there for me and for trying to understand me, it really does mean the world to me right now.
CeeGee hope you are feeling a little better soon, my thought are with you <3
to my recollection, Colin- it was first "identified" in war veterans, common symptoms were displayed in men returning from war, who had witnessed the atrocities of battle, etc.
at this point and time, it is widely recognized in anyone that has lived through violence and abuse or witnessed violence and abusive situations. even people who have survived accidents can display the symptoms of PTSD later down the road, after the fact.
some of the most common complaints are panic attacks or agoraphobia.
also, I would be of the opinion that type A personalities are much more prone to the disorder than type B. but, that is just my personal opinion, only because I lean towards a type A personality, tend to obsess and constantly have to keep my control issues in check.
and, sorry to hear you aren't feeling well- I do think of you often and always look forward to your postings of decent humor.
Gail
-- Edited by Moocow at 20:30, 2008-12-01
CeeGee2 said
Dec 1, 2008
Hi Gabriele, know I'm a male ( was last time I checked, yep it's still there.lol.) but don't ever think that you are being ignored, as I said we are a small forum and maybe one of the few, that opposing(not that there should be opposition on forums as it isn't a competition )forums members can come to and get away from any problem that is going on. You can chat any time you like with me, you can even argue, I'm not one of those with feelings that get hurt easily. Often it is quiet not because there isn't anything going on , just that there isn't anything to chat about,questions asked or no new news. if you want to start a discussion you must post a topic and be prepared to wait for a reply. Some days there can be a quick response or two on others it may take thought before some one will reply.
I myself have been very ill for the last 5 weeks and to be frank I haven't really been feeling up to getting too involved on posting. I read and leave. I didn't mean to make you feel unwelcome, not my way in life. Be yourself and if you ask for an opinion don't take it as a personal attack if the opinion isn't the one you want. You are probably right that you may have made people be a bit wary about you, but give them time and you will be amongst friends .Also I have a question What is PTSD? Could you tell us about it a bit. Col g
Gabriele said
Dec 1, 2008
Hi
Thanks for that advice but I have already registered with the hep c trust as it was the first place I had contacted after having been diagnosed and I did explain my situation on the phone in detail as far as my PTSD is concerned and that I just come out of a serious domestic violence situation only a couple of years ago, after almost a 25 year relationship.
The advice I was given then was that there is very good support on the web for people with hep c but perhaps they did not quite realise my difficulties with meeting people particular in the web, were at times it can get a little rough, which was a reason why I was keeping myself very much to myself on the web except for the feminist forums prior to being diagnosed with hep c.
However, there is no way I can blame anyone else for having got myself in the position I am in at present in terms of having to accept that this forum is the only place where I am "tolerated" and whilst there are a lot of viewers hardly anyone interacts with me here, which does make me feel an outcast without wanting to sound negative.
Besides that perhaps it would also be wise of me to accept that treatment will perhaps not just an unpleasant experience but also potentially quite lonely as well, when I might get so ill that I cannot go out but I am expelled from quite a few hep c forums , where I could have a chat as well as feel included in the online hep c community.
The sad thing of course is that I never had any intention to upset or trouble anyone and I do sincerely apologise to people that might have been offended by me in others forums, should they be reading this.
With all my best wishes and many warm thanks for your patience and consideration as I know only too well I can be hand full at times although never really mean any harm.
Love
(HUGS)
Gabriele-,-{@
-- Edited by Gabriele at 15:38, 2008-12-01
greenqueen said
Nov 29, 2008
Hi Gabriele,
I think that the period before TX is worse than doing it - fear of the unknown
I know a couple of people from our local support group who managed to function reasonably well during treatment. Not everyone has severe side effects - it's a good idea to be as well organised as possible, beforehand.
As Heather said, see if you can find a support group in your area. Your medical team may know of one or you could contact The Hepatitis C Trust for information.
They have a Helpline number on their site, as well as really good info
Love Mrs S J Smialls (Steff) xx
-- Edited by greenqueen at 20:55, 2008-11-29
Madame Yu See said
Nov 29, 2008
Gabriele -
Are you going to try and work during treatment? If you aren't going to be working, there won't be much of a problem. Just normal cooking, shopping and cleaning, hopefully your daughter can help out with that.
I made it through 24 weeks of treatment with virtually no support from my partner, he was a drain, actually. The house was a total wreck by then, as I didn't have the energy to do much cleaning, but he and I both ate - more take-out meals than usual - and I made it through tx without killing him.
Don't go looking for side effects and maybe none will find you.
MYS
Minerva said
Nov 29, 2008
Hi Gabriele,
Are there any support groups in your area that you could contact? They can be invaluable for support, especially thru tx.
I don't know what age your daughter is, but children are very resilient and personally i think, so long as they know that you were going thru tx (or have some explanation of what is happening), that would make it easier to understand any symptoms you may experience.
Having a good relationship with your medical team is also very helpful.
Best wishes. Hugs Heather xxx
Gabriele said
Nov 29, 2008
Hi Steff
Having just read that documents I am extremely worried about my daughter who is the one that would have to care for me if I was to get much worse.
I don't have any family here in the uk and have had very little contact with any of my family since I've been in the uk.
Unfortunately I do not have any contact to my children's father or his family as the situation ended so tragically after 25 years relationship and because of the negative nature of the relationship I have lived very isolated for many years thus I don't have a lot of friends.
Since I have left my ex I was busy with moving house and decorating it as well as carry on with my studies, whilst feeling extremely ill bouncing back and forward from GP to GP pleading that I am feeling very ill, with all this there was not much time to make new friends over the last 2 years.
So far I have managed very well in terms of Amalie not having to look after my needs and to be honest at the moment it's is still me that makes everyone laugh around the house and I sooooooo hope the meds don't kill that little kid in me that just wants to be silly and get up to mischief as I would never would want to change that side of me.
However, going back to Amalie perhaps having to care for me and the side effects the document mentions I am hugely concerned for Amalie and needless to add I rather find a way so I can take care of my myself, which of course could imply doubling up side effects from tx and caring.
I am so scared of this tx considering someone that cares for you can get seriously depressed, how am I going to cope with it all.
Love
Gabriele -,-{@
-- Edited by Gabriele at 10:10, 2008-11-29
PS
I should have perhaps added that in the last 2 years I was also active as a feminist and whilst I am a solid member of the LFN and have meet quit a lot of fabulous feminists including Julie Bindle however, I have so far not establish a personal friendships in terms of socialising privately, in other words we meet for campaigns but I have not had anyone visit me at home, thus there is no practical support.
Thanks for the links Gabriele.
Hugs
Hxxx
My mum got really upset and started shouting at me and impressionable as I was I got it into my head to just dance away from her singing "I am singing in the rain" which got me one mighty hell of a beating.
Thinking about it now I wonder why she reacted so aggressively because if my kids did that I dont think I could keep a straight face and would have to just burst out on roaring laughter as I have done with my son before who has joked around whilst I am trying to address some issues with him.
Anyhow I thought I run this little memory in relation to this movie past you and yes I still love that track singing in the rain
Love
Gabriele
-,-{@
Sorry if it is going off topic a bit!
-,-{@
-- Edited by Gabriele at 11:12, 2008-12-02
Here are some links from a document my GP gave me to have a look what this cognative therapy she referred me to is all about:-
Produce interactive computer based programs:-
http://www.ultrasis.com
A method for delivering CBT on the internet_
http://www.fearfighter.com
The British Association of Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapy:-
http://www.babcp.com
Oxford Cognitive Therapy Centre:-
http://www.octc.co.uk
Perhaps it could be useful for other people as having hep c and tx for it is very traumatic as well.
Love
Gabriele
-,-{@
I just found this article and couldn't help to think of the movie clockwork orange:-
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/science-news/2008/virtual-reality-psychotherapy-show-promise-in-treating-ptsd-symptoms-civilian-access-to-care-remains-a-concern.shtml
Interesting though I think.
here is another very promising article:-
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/science-news/2007/internet-based-ptsd-therapy-may-help-overcome-barriers-to-care.shtml
Love
Gabriele
-,-{@
-- Edited by Gabriele at 11:13, 2008-12-02
Hi Gabriele,
Hope the cognitive therapy helps. I have a weekly group but i have not been in weeks, although will try to make it this week!!
Col explained the forum very well. Don't take things personally. We can be really quiet sometimes and often people will catch up without needing to sign in, then reply/post when they have the time, or something to say. But i very much doubt it is at all personal Gabriele, just the nature of this forum.
You already have people here for you, so no need to feel alone.
Hugs
Heather
xxx
http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinfo/problems/posttraumaticstressdisorder/ptsdkeyfacts.aspx
I have been diagnosed with it for some time and indeed most of my hep c symptoms were put down to PTSD as my GP knew about the problems I had in my private life and there was my car accident as well, which was very serious but never got counselling for it.
Anyhow my doctor has referred me for cognitive therapy because I have hep c for which I am ever so glad as I had been turned down for counselling on the ground that I was not fit enough to go through it, so I just tried to manage as well as I could and I have not really done too bad either, looking judging by what I have achieved since I took that brave step to leave my ex.
The anti depressant meds is still going fine and do hope they will help me through tx for hep c and PTSD as each seems as bad as the other.
In terms of PTSD I tend can get really bad panic attacks over things that might seem stupid to other in particular over sexual things I can be extremely touchy thus dont like to be in an environment where I might have to deal with such things.
I also suffer from this hyper alertness, were I feel constantly as if I am in danger thus get easily sacred of people I dont know, which often doesnt show perhaps as fear , because I will defend myself with what I perceive as a robust argument but can get into stupid loops with it as well and perhaps come across as a lot more provocative than scared.
Of course there also the reruns of certain events that I often just cannot get out of my head and only watch myself going over and over it all again thus I have taken in the past to occupy myself with learning about computers particular web technologies but often found it hard to pull myself away out of sheer fear how I would feel once I switch off the pc and look around me facing my reality, with that going on for many years whilst I was collecting more traumas in the last few years more or less on a daily basis.
How my children had to suffer at times was traumatic in itself and I know thats why he did get so nasty with them as it was the most effective torture of them all and there were some other very horrid thing going on.
PTSD is no walk in the park and I would not wish it on my worst enemy but I know I will do everything to learn to manage it, if not totally eradicate these negative forces as I have the confidence that I am able to do it but I need to give myself time and be patient as it cannot be changed overnight.
Thanks for being there for me and for trying to understand me, it really does mean the world to me right now.
CeeGee hope you are feeling a little better soon, my thought are with you <3
Love
(HUGS)
Gabriele-,-{@
-- Edited by Gabriele at 22:51, 2008-12-01
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
to my recollection, Colin- it was first "identified" in war veterans, common symptoms were displayed in men returning from war, who had witnessed the atrocities of battle, etc.
at this point and time, it is widely recognized in anyone that has lived through violence and abuse or witnessed violence and abusive situations. even people who have survived accidents can display the symptoms of PTSD later down the road, after the fact.
some of the most common complaints are panic attacks or agoraphobia.
also, I would be of the opinion that type A personalities are much more prone to the disorder than type B. but, that is just my personal opinion, only because I lean towards a type A personality, tend to obsess and constantly have to keep my control issues in check.
and, sorry to hear you aren't feeling well- I do think of you often and always look forward to your postings of decent humor.
Gail
-- Edited by Moocow at 20:30, 2008-12-01
Thanks for that advice but I have already registered with the hep c trust as it was the first place I had contacted after having been diagnosed and I did explain my situation on the phone in detail as far as my PTSD is concerned and that I just come out of a serious domestic violence situation only a couple of years ago, after almost a 25 year relationship.
The advice I was given then was that there is very good support on the web for people with hep c but perhaps they did not quite realise my difficulties with meeting people particular in the web, were at times it can get a little rough, which was a reason why I was keeping myself very much to myself on the web except for the feminist forums prior to being diagnosed with hep c.
However, there is no way I can blame anyone else for having got myself in the position I am in at present in terms of having to accept that this forum is the only place where I am "tolerated" and whilst there are a lot of viewers hardly anyone interacts with me here, which does make me feel an outcast without wanting to sound negative.
Besides that perhaps it would also be wise of me to accept that treatment will perhaps not just an unpleasant experience but also potentially quite lonely as well, when I might get so ill that I cannot go out but I am expelled from quite a few hep c forums , where I could have a chat as well as feel included in the online hep c community.
The sad thing of course is that I never had any intention to upset or trouble anyone and I do sincerely apologise to people that might have been offended by me in others forums, should they be reading this.
With all my best wishes and many warm thanks for your patience and consideration as I know only too well I can be hand full at times although never really mean any harm.
Love
(HUGS)
Gabriele-,-{@
-- Edited by Gabriele at 15:38, 2008-12-01
I think that the period before TX is worse than doing it - fear of the unknown
I know a couple of people from our local support group who managed to function reasonably well during treatment. Not everyone has severe side effects - it's a good idea to be as well organised as possible, beforehand.
As Heather said, see if you can find a support group in your area. Your medical team may know of one or you could contact The Hepatitis C Trust for information.
http://www.hepctrust.org.uk/
They have a Helpline number on their site, as well as really good info
Love Mrs S J Smialls (Steff) xx
-- Edited by greenqueen at 20:55, 2008-11-29
Hi Gabriele,
Are there any support groups in your area that you could contact? They can be invaluable for support, especially thru tx.
I don't know what age your daughter is, but children are very resilient and personally i think, so long as they know that you were going thru tx (or have some explanation of what is happening), that would make it easier to understand any symptoms you may experience.
Having a good relationship with your medical team is also very helpful.
Best wishes.
Hugs
Heather
xxx
Having just read that documents I am extremely worried about my daughter who is the one that would have to care for me if I was to get much worse.
I don't have any family here in the uk and have had very little contact with any of my family since I've been in the uk.
Unfortunately I do not have any contact to my children's father or his family as the situation ended so tragically after 25 years relationship and because of the negative nature of the relationship I have lived very isolated for many years thus I don't have a lot of friends.
Since I have left my ex I was busy with moving house and decorating it as well as carry on with my studies, whilst feeling extremely ill bouncing back and forward from GP to GP pleading that I am feeling very ill, with all this there was not much time to make new friends over the last 2 years.
So far I have managed very well in terms of Amalie not having to look after my needs and to be honest at the moment it's is still me that makes everyone laugh around the house and I sooooooo hope the meds don't kill that little kid in me that just wants to be silly and get up to mischief as I would never would want to change that side of me.
However, going back to Amalie perhaps having to care for me and the side effects the document mentions I am hugely concerned for Amalie and needless to add I rather find a way so I can take care of my myself, which of course could imply doubling up side effects from tx and caring.
I am so scared of this tx considering someone that cares for you can get seriously depressed, how am I going to cope with it all.
Love
Gabriele
-,-{@
-- Edited by Gabriele at 10:10, 2008-11-29
PS
I should have perhaps added that in the last 2 years I was also active as a feminist and whilst I am a solid member of the LFN and have meet quit a lot of fabulous feminists including Julie Bindle however, I have so far not establish a personal friendships in terms of socialising privately, in other words we meet for campaigns but I have not had anyone visit me at home, thus there is no practical support.Love
Gabriele
-,-{@
-- Edited by Gabriele at 10:50, 2008-11-29
Caring for Someone with Hepatitis C