I think it's okay for you to feel frustrated and whine a bit. We all need safe spaces to just let it out sometimes, otherwise we'll explode. Do you have anyone else who can help you take care of your husband and daughter so you can have some down time when you're not working? It's so hard to be the sole supporter. I hope you can find ways to take care of yourself during this time and that you can have supportive people to help you cope. Hang in there!
Lindsay
BeccaJune said
Dec 15, 2011
Hi Debbie,
Sometimes we just need someone to "whine" to that understands what you are going through. It keeps us from complaining to the people we love and who need us. I am sure they appreciate everything you are doing for them.
I moved away from home and married when I was 19, and my mom lived too far away to be there with me when I had a miscarrage, or other health problems. She probably felt pretty helpless. You are lucky your daughter is close by so you can go through this together. By the way mom has called me every day since I started tx!
You may need to just let some things go. I am sure your husband is not going to mind, an if he is feeling bad, he would probably rather forgo some of the holiday festivities.
Your daughter and husband are lucky to have you!
John William said
Dec 15, 2011
Hi Debbie, I truly admire your courage and strength with your plate so full and the season to boot. You can rant and rave anytime you like here, we are here to listen, share and support!
My wife was on tx last year when our 15 yr old daughter had an "internet experience" and wound up in Vancouver, then her (wife's) Dad was diagnossed with terminal cancer. I was working 12 hr days on a 12 day on 2 day off schedule trying to maintain house, health, family & affairs. I remember thinking "Someone throw me a bone here!"
I managed to dig a little deeper and through faith, family and friends we managed. There were actually some bright spots that we still laugh about from time to time. It is my turn on tx now.
Try and find some "YOU TIME", even if it is just an hour a week away from the house for a coffee with a friend, yoga, zoomba, ceramics or what ever else might work. You deserve it! This gives you something to look forward to and may help recharge the batteries. It is not selfesh.
Christmas at our house won't be the same as usual but that is because these are not usual times, we accept this.
May the season shine a little extra light your way this year! Keep the spirit.
-- Edited by John William on Thursday 15th of December 2011 04:58:21 PM
Cinnamon Girl said
Dec 15, 2011
Hi Debbie, I`m sorry to hear you are so stressed and worn out. Actually with all you`ve got going on at the moment it`s hardly surprising. You are clearly under a huge amount of strain worrying about your daughter and taking her to appointments as well as working and caring for your husband on tx. And this time of year tends to be stressful anyway on top of everything else!
But please don`t feel guilty - what you`re feeling is only natural right now when everything seems to be resting on your shoulders. Sounds like you need to take some time out for yourself somehow to look after your own needs as well as everyone elses.
I`m wondering whether you have any friends who may be able to help in any way? And maybe just keep the festive preparations very low key this year?
Sometimes people on tx find their sx level out after the first few weeks, when their bodies have got used to the meds, so I hope things do start get easier for you both.
All the best of luck with his results next week.
Take care, Jill xxx
debbie24 said
Dec 15, 2011
Not sure whether to post this in Rant and Rave or here. I'm emotionally and physically drained right now. My husband started 3 drug treatment 11-11-11. He has an appt. next week to find out results of 4 week blood tests. I'm guessing his hemoglobin has dropped. He has absolutely no energy, and has gone to work only a couple days the past 2 weeks. I'm feeling stressed and guilty. I work full time, am trying to make holiday preparations as normal, and to add to this our 23 yr old daughter who lives at home, is facing surgery to remove ovarian tumors. I'm running to specialist appointments with her to try to find a way to preserve her fertility.....Anyway....I'm not eating right, not exercising, and sleeping odd hours. I know I need to take better care of myself to be there for them, but right now I'm just in a downward spiral. I'm sitting at the computer wide awake in the middle of the night stuffing my face with junk food...yes, I have to work in the morning, and my job requires me to be very upbeat, positive, and compassionate to others. ok...I'm done now...this too shall pass, and I suppose I feel a bit better now that I've whined a bit. I can't share my feelings with my family because their difficulties far surpass mine. I just need to suck it up and be grateful.
Lindsay
Hi Debbie,
Sometimes we just need someone to "whine" to that understands what you are going through. It keeps us from complaining to the people we love and who need us. I am sure they appreciate everything you are doing for them.
I moved away from home and married when I was 19, and my mom lived too far away to be there with me when I had a miscarrage, or other health problems. She probably felt pretty helpless. You are lucky your daughter is close by so you can go through this together. By the way mom has called me every day since I started tx!
You may need to just let some things go. I am sure your husband is not going to mind, an if he is feeling bad, he would probably rather forgo some of the holiday festivities.
Your daughter and husband are lucky to have you!
Hi Debbie, I truly admire your courage and strength with your plate so full and the season to boot. You can rant and rave anytime you like here, we are here to listen, share and support!
My wife was on tx last year when our 15 yr old daughter had an "internet experience" and wound up in Vancouver, then her (wife's) Dad was diagnossed with terminal cancer. I was working 12 hr days on a 12 day on 2 day off schedule trying to maintain house, health, family & affairs. I remember thinking "Someone throw me a bone here!"
I managed to dig a little deeper and through faith, family and friends we managed. There were actually some bright spots that we still laugh about from time to time. It is my turn on tx now.
Try and find some "YOU TIME", even if it is just an hour a week away from the house for a coffee with a friend, yoga, zoomba, ceramics or what ever else might work. You deserve it! This gives you something to look forward to and may help recharge the batteries. It is not selfesh.
Christmas at our house won't be the same as usual but that is because these are not usual times, we accept this.
May the season shine a little extra light your way this year! Keep the spirit.
-- Edited by John William on Thursday 15th of December 2011 04:58:21 PM
Hi Debbie, I`m sorry to hear you are so stressed and worn out. Actually with all you`ve got going on at the moment it`s hardly surprising. You are clearly under a huge amount of strain worrying about your daughter and taking her to appointments as well as working and caring for your husband on tx. And this time of year tends to be stressful anyway on top of everything else!
But please don`t feel guilty - what you`re feeling is only natural right now when everything seems to be resting on your shoulders. Sounds like you need to take some time out for yourself somehow to look after your own needs as well as everyone elses.
I`m wondering whether you have any friends who may be able to help in any way? And maybe just keep the festive preparations very low key this year?
Sometimes people on tx find their sx level out after the first few weeks, when their bodies have got used to the meds, so I hope things do start get easier for you both.
All the best of luck with his results next week.
Take care, Jill xxx
Not sure whether to post this in Rant and Rave or here. I'm emotionally and physically drained right now. My husband started 3 drug treatment 11-11-11. He has an appt. next week to find out results of 4 week blood tests. I'm guessing his hemoglobin has dropped. He has absolutely no energy, and has gone to work only a couple days the past 2 weeks. I'm feeling stressed and guilty. I work full time, am trying to make holiday preparations as normal, and to add to this our 23 yr old daughter who lives at home, is facing surgery to remove ovarian tumors. I'm running to specialist appointments with her to try to find a way to preserve her fertility.....Anyway....I'm not eating right, not exercising, and sleeping odd hours. I know I need to take better care of myself to be there for them, but right now I'm just in a downward spiral. I'm sitting at the computer wide awake in the middle of the night stuffing my face with junk food...yes, I have to work in the morning, and my job requires me to be very upbeat, positive, and compassionate to others. ok...I'm done now...this too shall pass, and I suppose I feel a bit better now that I've whined a bit. I can't share my feelings with my family because their difficulties far surpass mine. I just need to suck it up and be grateful.