Thanks for your response Sandy. I will give him his space and sort if just try to let him now that im here. I truly understand that this time is not about me at all and I understand that I have to continue with our regular rutine and he will follow through at his own pace.
I got tested the same week he found out. He was very happy and emotional when my results came back negative.
Im standing outside the doctors office. He's getting his first shot today. He didnt ask me to come but i feel that i want to be involved and know what he's going through.
sandypsych said
Aug 15, 2014
Hi Helen
Sometimes it seems harder to be a partner of someone with a disease, than to be the patient. And some people, when they get news that is frightening or overwhelming like to retreat. There is no 'wrong way' for him to respond. And no rule book for you to follow either, so I'm not sure what to tell you.
I have found with my husband, I sometimes have to be the voice of reason, keep the disease in perspective, and be 'matter of fact' about it. Try not to dwell on it (don't make it all you talk about!), instead, do the fun stuff you always did. Give him some time and a little space (remember, his distance may have nothing to do with you, but just be his way of adjusting to some difficult news). Become educated about it. Only share what he wants to hear (again, don't make it all you talk about). These are things that I think I have learned. Many others here will have other (probably better) advice.
And get tested yourself. I get tested every two years simply as a precaution (I have a fair number of needle pokes since my husband is also diabetic).
Good luck!
Sandy
Helenb said
Aug 15, 2014
Hello, My boyfriend and I have known eachother for two years and have been together for a few months now, he was recently diagnosed with hep c. He actually found out only because I asked him to get tested. The results came back and it totally caught him off guard. His grandmother had hep C from a blood transfusion but was never diagnosed, not until doctor found out she had liver cancer. She passed away about 3-4 years ago. Apparently he has no severe liver damage nor other complications, infact the first doctor he saw suggested no treatment.
The news struck him bad and I got the sense that he was unsure of how I was going to react. Since day one I let him know that I was going to be with him through this. Yesterday I went to the doctors appt with him, he had some tests results back and the doctor suggested to start treatment right away.
I know it is only the beginning but his mood has already changed, and he's been shutting me off. The day before and after his doctors appointment he didn't want to see me, he said he was nervous and I understood. I offer to help in anything I can, and try to be supportive even try to give him space if that's what he wants but its difficult, I don't know how to be supportive if he doesnt want my help, I don't know how much to try or push. I feel that all I can do is give him space but that seems wrong specially since I can't imagine what it is like to be told you have a dissease and you have to change your plans, lifestyle and above that, that you will go through a treatment that can have sever side effects.
He's never been too open about his feelings but I feel lost now I don't know how to get to him. Any suggestions
Hi Helen
Sometimes it seems harder to be a partner of someone with a disease, than to be the patient. And some people, when they get news that is frightening or overwhelming like to retreat. There is no 'wrong way' for him to respond. And no rule book for you to follow either, so I'm not sure what to tell you.
I have found with my husband, I sometimes have to be the voice of reason, keep the disease in perspective, and be 'matter of fact' about it. Try not to dwell on it (don't make it all you talk about!), instead, do the fun stuff you always did. Give him some time and a little space (remember, his distance may have nothing to do with you, but just be his way of adjusting to some difficult news). Become educated about it. Only share what he wants to hear (again, don't make it all you talk about). These are things that I think I have learned. Many others here will have other (probably better) advice.
And get tested yourself. I get tested every two years simply as a precaution (I have a fair number of needle pokes since my husband is also diabetic).
Good luck!
Sandy
Hello, My boyfriend and I have known eachother for two years and have been together for a few months now, he was recently diagnosed with hep c. He actually found out only because I asked him to get tested. The results came back and it totally caught him off guard. His grandmother had hep C from a blood transfusion but was never diagnosed, not until doctor found out she had liver cancer. She passed away about 3-4 years ago. Apparently he has no severe liver damage nor other complications, infact the first doctor he saw suggested no treatment.
The news struck him bad and I got the sense that he was unsure of how I was going to react. Since day one I let him know that I was going to be with him through this. Yesterday I went to the doctors appt with him, he had some tests results back and the doctor suggested to start treatment right away.
I know it is only the beginning but his mood has already changed, and he's been shutting me off. The day before and after his doctors appointment he didn't want to see me, he said he was nervous and I understood. I offer to help in anything I can, and try to be supportive even try to give him space if that's what he wants but its difficult, I don't know how to be supportive if he doesnt want my help, I don't know how much to try or push. I feel that all I can do is give him space but that seems wrong specially since I can't imagine what it is like to be told you have a dissease and you have to change your plans, lifestyle and above that, that you will go through a treatment that can have sever side effects.
He's never been too open about his feelings but I feel lost now I don't know how to get to him. Any suggestions