Hi Liz,

Thank goodness you are staying on treatment.  You are a short timer now.  And Wendyo had a great line "emotional vampires suck".  We all have them or had them in our lives.  Sometimes it takes someone else to point out this fact to us and then we ask ourselves why are we allowing it to happen and then we act and how relieved we are when we finally say "Bye Bye!".  Life is to short to spend it on anyone that is not adding to the equation.

Hey Liz,

Thanks for the positive update! Keep looking that Dragon straight in the eye and show it you're in control! It's running scared now.... 

Hi Liz,

glad you have someone staying to help through all this.

Take care,

Syd

Glad your ok Liz, I never doubted you could do this!!  Thanks for checking in.  RC

Hi Liz,  so glad things are a looking better.  You are doing great.   You got this!!! Chris

Whew!

Keep up the good work! You can do this!

JimmyK

Hi everyone, thank you all so much for your thoughtful and caring responses.  I'm so sorry if I worried you all, that was not my intention.  I also had no intention of quitting, but I had a few bad days there were I was sleep deprived, heartbroken, shocked and also dealing with a fair bit of nausea from the meds and it was just all too much.  Since then I have had a friend come to stay with me for a couple of weeks and he is helping me along, making sure I eat properly and get back on track.  I have heard from a few people since then ... two males in fact ... that they felt a bit emotional on Harvoni from time to time ... moments of tears etc and I definitely agree that hormones play a role in that too.  But it is not something unmanageable ... in fact a good cry now and then can be a release and quite relaxing.  Also,  I have been going through a lot of changes in my life recently, so I'm a bit emotional about that.  New start, hep c free, single, out into the unknown.

Anyway, I've been up, I've been down, and now I'm just feeling kinda normal ... like a girl who has just been dumped (lol) and this too shall pass!

Much love to you all, hope you are all doing well!

Liz x

Hi Liz,

I didn't see this thread before today and am so sorry to hear you have been feeling so low. Breakups and finally treatment for a chronic, killer disease at the same time!! and no one to have a cry and a laugh with. No wonder you feel so low. You sound like the sort of person who would have heaps of friends. Is there one person you could confide in? Its nice to have someone who can give you a hug and pass you a nonjudgemental tissue.

i have nothing to say thats different from everybody else here. Check with your doctor to make sure nothing else is going on. If not then the huge emotional obstacles you are trying to hurdle over at the moment are more likely the cause.

Be kind to self. You have made allowances for others your whole life - make a few for yourself now.

Big cyber hugs.

Syd

Liz, Anything can be accomplished one day at a time. Please stay the course, it won't be long before we are all celebrating your EOT and SVR     Right now it's only about you, be selfish. TREAT YOUR SELF TO A CURE. You have such a big heart it's a no wonder it hurts so bad. But know that the heart ache will pass. you will get well and finish the wonderful life you deserve 

RC

Hi Liz,

I will only add my "Don't quit" to all the great advice our members have given you. You are almost there so hang in and think about being cured. Day by day, baby steps but stay the course and be cured.

Take care and think positive thoughts

SF

Liz,

These friends are right.  Don't quit!  

Treatment is difficult for some.  Emotional upsets are difficult for everybody. While I was on treatment I actually had to force myself not to listen to myself.  My emotions just weren't reliable and I just gave in to the idea of feeling bad for a while.  Then, I got better.  Remember this - you will get better! Don't lessen that chance by quitting. I bet you can remember some time in your history when you were flooded and unsure.  And I bet you remember getting through it.

Now, put you big girl PJs on and give yourself some rest and TIME to get through this. And some ginger brew of some sore will help you, too.

You really can do this.

Hi Liz

Sorry to hear about the physical and emotional woes.

Gastro issues/nausea are common enough on Harvoni.  I had some on the sof/vel/vox combo mid-treatment but it was short-lived.  I also had liver pains periodically during treatment and after too and I've seen people complain of that on forums.  I've absolutely no evidence to back my theory but my take on it is that it's the liver healing itself or getting used to not being under attack.

The emotional upset, like the others have said, is most likely related to your relationship break-up.  There's a lot of emotions tied up with treatment as well.  Two big life events at the same time!

The good thing about life is that everything passes, which is often hard to see when we're in the middle of it.  Hang on in there and in a few months you'll feel brand new.

Pablo

Hey Liz,

Try making some fresh Gingerale or have some fresh Ginger tea, it works VERY well for soothing nausea, and the other things you describe.

Check out this link and try this - http://hepcfriends.activeboard.com/t60715535/homemade-ginger-ale/?page=1#comment-61697895

I strongly suspect your stomach issues are due to all the emotional turmoil that you've gone through lately.

You've received some great recommendations, use them. Work on finding ways to relax and relieve some of that stress, you'll do just fine.

Make some ginger tea, do some deep, slow breathing, find some positive affirmations that inspire you and concentrate on those. Doing these things will help you find your inner self, it's time to steel your self and move ahead in a positive way. We will be right here, gain strength from us and carry on, you will do fine.

Be Well, Be Strong,

Dave

Sister Liz, please listen to our pleas on your behalf.

Let's face facts here. You have had issues with Anxiety prior to Harvoni. This you have admitted and recognize.

Personally I do not believe The Harvoini is causing your symptoms as you would be the first I know of to have such complaints.

You cannot run from Hep C, but you CAN beat it and rid yourself of it.

Continue the course. If you are lonely log in here and speak to someone about it.

4 more weeks is nothing.

You can do it!

JimmyK

Hi Liz,   PLEASE DO NOT quit, like Wendy said you are half way there.  The long term benefits of freedom from this virus out way what you are experiencing right now.   It's temporary. Remember that that along with the stress you went thru with your partner your body is going through alot of changes.   Major battle going inside too.  Your liver affects so much of your well being, including hormones, that you will soon enjoy and feel the effects of a healthy liver.  4 more weeks...Stay close to forum and your friends,  and stay busy and active.... YOU CAN DO THIS.

Blessings and Prayers sent your way.    Chris

Liz,

DON'T QUIT you are too far along to jump off the train. Please, hang in there. Halfway my friend, you can do it. 

OK, try ginger tea, ginger capsules and if that does not work, anti nausea meds from the doc. Review your diet, something you are eating could be causing this. I no longer can process/digest rich food easily so I just don't eat it or if I do very small portion. I have been experiencing pretty much exactly what you describe mood wise but I know it is menopause. Sometimes I need a good cry, so let it out sister. For me exercise improves my mood. If you are not up to that go for a walk or do some stretching. Maybe a silly movie? 

You can get through this. Take it a day or a minute at a time.

Just for today...

wendy

Hi,

I'm sorry you're feeling so dreadful. That doesn't make anything easy to deal with. The gastric issues have been mentioned by others and I really think you should ask your doctor for something to relieve that. If the ginger ale recipe provided you some relief, you should continue it on a regular basis. If you're experiencing nausea, you need to consider asking for a stronger anti nausea medication. There's no reason to put up with these side effects when there are some options out there to relieve them. Are you eating right and hydrating, a lot?? Tell us what you're eating and drinking daily. Getting enough rest?

The moodiness and crying, are unusual for Harvoni. If you were on Ribavirin, I would be able to put my finger on the cause. You just went through some difficult emotional issues, is it possible that they are catching up with you at the same time? If you're moody, and not feeling well physically, you're not going to feel good about much of anything. Try and get out and find a change of environment and try to get your mind on something else. I had a hard time when I just sat around the house while on treatment. Force yourself to get out and have some fun! If you don't want to leave the house, sit down and enjoy a comedy marathon on TV. Find something to laugh about, buy a double decker banana split and eat it all, blame me for the ice cream bloat! But you'll have a good laugh and great ice cream treat, lol!

Whatever you do, don't quit treatment! If you stop now, you may feel better temporarily, but it will be short lived and you won't be terribly happy with the decision at some point in the near future. It will be difficult to be approved again for treatment by your insurance carrier if you quit without just reason. These issues will pass and you'll feel better in a few days. Just hang in there and give it a few days. These side effects do let up. Try hard! We're always around. If you feel like talking, we're here for you...

Hi guys, just checking in.  I had a pretty good ride those first four weeks, but I've been feeling pretty dreadful these last few days - both physically and emotionally.  I keep thinking back to how my gastroenterologist told me there were no side-effects on Harvoni ... but this treatment seems to be getting much harder for me since I opened bottle number two.  I'm due to take my tablet in just under an hour and I feel dreadful and really don't feel like swallowing another one.  No headaches anymore, but nausea and abdominal discomfort that feels like liver pain (something I didn't have before treatment) ... and it's constant.  I also just spontaneously started sobbing last night whilst watching tv ... and I mean really SOBBING.  I know I've just been dumped in the middle of treatment, and I'm pretty depressed at the moment ... but this was like a physical, primitive sobbing - like the pain of a hundred years had to come out all at once - and it felt like it would last forever.  The only other time I was like that was when my mother passed away.

Has anyone else had these tummy problems and emotional issues?  I feel like I'm not coping too well right now ... I've been alone since my partner left and I've not told anyone about the treatment, so feeling pretty alone right now

nightowl wrote:

---

Hey guys, thanks so much for your caring responses. 

I'm so sorry to have dumped that all on you the other day, I had just hit the wall and was feeling it all and it needed to come out. I'm a private person so I haven't really discussed what has been happening with friends.  I really do appreciate your support. I must point out Pablito that whilst I have a degree in psychology, I'm not a clinical psychologist as such ... I am in research psych ... but yes, I did study the personality disorders all those years ago at uni ... but here's the thing ... even though I had studied the symptom profile of NPD, I still didn't see it creeping up on me until I was emotionally involved.  By then it becomes hard to see someone you are involved with objectively no matter how obvious it may be to others (my friends really didn't take to  him at all). It was all there, the aggression, the mood swings, the lying, the constant blaming of others, the need for constant praise, the complete lack of empathy, the inability to say sorry.  Fortunately, the psychologist we had been seeing together could see what was happening and was able to steer me in the right direction. 

Lisa I can see why you would think that I would take him back because past behaviour is the best predictor of future behaviour, but to be honest this was the tipping point for me.  I've spent the last few days looking back over the relationship and recalling so many moments where he completely lacked appropriate empathy and I am shocked that I accepted it (like for example the night I found a lump in my breast and he patted me on the head and said "you'll be fine, we'll talk about it in the morning" and then actually rolled over and went to sleep. And then the next day when I told him his response hurt me and he told me it didn't happen and that I was imagining the conversation or must have dreamt it (something  I now realize was gaslighting).  You become like a lobster, unaware you are actually cooking as the water slowly reaches boiling point.  So yes Jimmy, relationships like this can leave you questioning and blaming yourself ... and yes Wendy, you can get so caught up in trying to understand their bizarre behaviour that you allow yourself to accept the unacceptable. I really did stop looking after myself ...

But this time I feel different, something inside me has changed, I feel like I can finally walk away for good this time.  I believe the treatment has given me hope for the future ... it's making me more hopeful and braver somehow. 

Thank you all so much for caring, I'm so greatful.

Anyway I won't bore you all with this topic anymore I promise ... back to business ... I have a practical question if I may ... when things were very stressful a few days ago, I took my tablet 50 minutes late.  I am usually always on time.  Do you think this would have harmed my treatment at all?

Liz x

---

 Hi Liz, 

I think as it was under an hour you'll be fine. I've heard of some people that skipped a whole day and went on to cure - highly not recommended, but it can happen.

I'm glad you've found some resolve in your life, if you have a weak moment when you're face to face, try to re-visit your previous state of mind and remember your thoughts. Empathy can block logic, which is why some people seem to go in circles, they believe they can help, change or make a difference. Sadly in the case of NPD it requires extensive therapy for a person to change their ways and a willingness to see their behaviour as destructive, this can require life long therapy and is not considered very effective.

Like TIg said, it is a nonjudgmental environment where you remain anonymous. Feel free to use us as your thought outlet and you can feel secure in knowing there is no one to tell. I know that there is an element of embarrassment in any situation where friends are fast to say "I told you so!" It really isn't important, all that matters is how you feel currently, and what YOU chose to do about it. Either way, whatever you decide, your health is important and it is a huge life changing thing.

Keep going, a hep c free life is an exciting one! x

Thanks Lisa ... cyber hug back 

Thanks so much for replying so quickly Tig ... I was really worried about that *goesandsitsincornerquietly*

Hi Liz,

I'm so glad that you're feeling better about all of the turmoil the other day. That kind of situation is never easy to deal with, but it sounds to me that you did a fine job of landing on your feet and are headed in the right direction. We're always here to talk and offer an opinion or just listen. Too often, people just either don't listen or don't have someone to  talk to. Never hesitate to share how you're feeling, physically or mentally. We're always stronger together!

Don't give the delay in taking your pill by 50 minutes another thought. It won't be a problem at all. Just do your level best to take it at the same time everyday. There will be the occasional delay, but try hard to avoid them. If I send you to the corner for a 30 minute "Time Out", will you feel adequately scolded? How about I just give you a warning this time? I'm a softie, you're lucky this time 

Take care of yourself and check in often. You're doing great....  

Hey guys, thanks so much for your caring responses. 

I'm so sorry to have dumped that all on you the other day, I had just hit the wall and was feeling it all and it needed to come out. I'm a private person so I haven't really discussed what has been happening with friends.  I really do appreciate your support. I must point out Pablito that whilst I have a degree in psychology, I'm not a clinical psychologist as such ... I am in research psych ... but yes, I did study the personality disorders all those years ago at uni ... but here's the thing ... even though I had studied the symptom profile of NPD, I still didn't see it creeping up on me until I was emotionally involved.  By then it becomes hard to see someone you are involved with objectively no matter how obvious it may be to others (my friends really didn't take to  him at all). It was all there, the aggression, the mood swings, the lying, the constant blaming of others, the need for constant praise, the complete lack of empathy, the inability to say sorry.  Fortunately, the psychologist we had been seeing together could see what was happening and was able to steer me in the right direction. 

Lisa I can see why you would think that I would take him back because past behaviour is the best predictor of future behaviour, but to be honest this was the tipping point for me.  I've spent the last few days looking back over the relationship and recalling so many moments where he completely lacked appropriate empathy and I am shocked that I accepted it (like for example the night I found a lump in my breast and he patted me on the head and said "you'll be fine, we'll talk about it in the morning" and then actually rolled over and went to sleep. And then the next day when I told him his response hurt me and he told me it didn't happen and that I was imagining the conversation or must have dreamt it (something  I now realize was gaslighting).  You become like a lobster, unaware you are actually cooking as the water slowly reaches boiling point.  So yes Jimmy, relationships like this can leave you questioning and blaming yourself ... and yes Wendy, you can get so caught up in trying to understand their bizarre behaviour that you allow yourself to accept the unacceptable. I really did stop looking after myself ...

But this time I feel different, something inside me has changed, I feel like I can finally walk away for good this time.  I believe the treatment has given me hope for the future ... it's making me more hopeful and braver somehow. 

Thank you all so much for caring, I'm so greatful.

Anyway I won't bore you all with this topic anymore I promise ... back to business ... I have a practical question if I may ... when things were very stressful a few days ago, I took my tablet 50 minutes late.  I am usually always on time.  Do you think this would have harmed my treatment at all?

Liz x

Hi nightowl,

I am under the assumption you love this man, and after taking him back previous times, you will do so in the future. I guess you can consider it a time out where you need to focus on you. My husband is rubbish at being a carer, but its just because he is logical by nature but of course he does his best (female emotions are not his strongest suit.) 

You are in good hands now, so take this time to focus on you, after all, this is your time to heal. 

I had dizzy spells on Riba, and also panic attacks, but that was because my oxygen levels shot down very fast in two weeks. I suspect you are having a combination of anxiety induced symptoms and some tension from everything happening. If it continues ask your doctor to check your anemia levels. I'm quiet sure I'm not the only person on the planet it works too well on them and too fast. 

Either way, I hope you are feeling a bit better today. Cyber hug x

I think Syd put it much better than I did.  Grief is grief regardless of the health of the relationship, or indeed the psychological-mindedness of the person suffering it.  I can be a bit blunt/tactless at times....for that I apologise and I am working on it!

Hi NightOwl,

so sorry the treatment has brought all that to a head. Glad though that you are still sticking religiously to your regime. trouble is, even if it's perfectly obvious to those who know you well, and you have finally made up your mind - enough is enough - the grief at the loss is still there and maybe harder to bear than if it had been a healthy relationship. It's so hard not blame yourself and that sense of abandonment just has to worked through no matter how wise the decision is. For what it's worth, the joy of being alone, not having my buttons pressed by a control freak who wanted to isolate me from my kids and friends, is immense. I take the blame  now for my lows, I'm not waiting to be brought down by someone who sees a weakness and tackles me to the ground for good measure. If I were a Christian I would thank God for every day I wake up clean and free. I hope you get to this wonderful place soon. You're pretty young, and if you really find your way here, you may have the strength and courage to get together with someone kind who deserves you.

Big hugs, Syd

Hi Liz

I'm so glad to hear your treatment is going well.  It really is the most important thing at the mo.

I had a friend with NPD. (Note: I said "had").  She had the most amazing capacity to turn any conversation into a monologue about herself.  I used to find myself deliberately using techniques to steer the conversation away from her, but they never worked.  Best to steer clear of folk like that and try and work on ourselves and why we are drawn to them...but you're a psychologist so you know the drill.

Keep on with the meds and the water and in a few weeks you'll be getting the best news ever.

Pablo

Hi Liz, sorry you have had so much drama during your treatment, but like Jimmy, Wendy, and  Dave all said, this is YOUR time.  Relax and get healthy one day at a time and look forward to your new life and new freedom.    Things do happen for a reason.   THIS IS YOUR TIME.  God Bless.   Chris

Greetings Liz,

"We went to couples counseling last year where a psychologist finally diagnosed him with narcissistic personality disorder."

OK good and stop right there and reflect. This is something for you to hang on to. Often folks may start to second guess themselves and wonder "is in me?" "Should I have done this instead?" "Maybe if I only..."

Nope, the guy is stuck on self and has no room for anyone else.

Send the guy a mirror and he will then always have his true love.

Hang in there Sister. You are doing great!

JimmyK

So sorry to hear of your recent struggles Nightowl. BUT the good news is you are still on course. You also may not be drinking enough water as far as not feeling good for a few days. Just up the intake and see if that helps. 

I lost a relationship when I was on Interferon + Riba so I can relate. I also choose to look at it as that was not who I was supposed to be with. 

Dave is right, energy vampires suck (no pun intended) and you deserve better. 

Take care of you. Ask friends/family for help if needed because you do not have to accept unacceptable behavior. (Took me a long time to get thru this thick skull.) 

 One day at a time my friend. 

wendy

Hi Nightowl,

Sorry to hear of partner problems, those things are difficult at the best of times, let alone when on Tx.

Sounds like a loser walking out twice when you really needed him, I think you are probably better off without him anyway.

If you love someone you are there through thick and thin, plain and simple.

I've known people like the one you describe, I call them energy vortexes, it's all about them and everywhere they go they just suck energy from others. They suck, LOL!

Sounds like you are coping with Tx, keep up on the water intake, keep eating well, you'll be done before ya know it.

Enjoy some quiet time or seek those friends or family that are there when you need them or just use us in that capacity, we'll be here.

Try to see the positive side of all this, rid yourself of the virus and rid yourself of other things in life that are bringing you down. Use this time as a cleansing, use this as a time to purge the negative and breathe in the positive. Don't know if you're into it but some form of meditation or yoga or other using deep, controlled breathing can help set this out with the old and in with the new attitude.

It's all good, you are here with others that know exactly what you are going through, you've got this ... doin' good.

Dave

Hey guys, I'm so sorry for disappearing like that. 

I've been going alright treatment-wise, but probably not doing so well emotionally.  I guess I'm somewhat anonymous here so I can be frank ... my partner walked out on me in the second week of treatment.  This is not the first time he has done something like this, he also walked out on me after both my first and second jaw surgeries (he usually comes back a few weeks later and says it was too much for him).   These were major surgeries and back then I was forced to ask a friend to take time off work to care for me at the last moment.  I was really hoping things would be different this time and that he would be able to keep it together to support me through this, but it was not to be.   The problem is he really can't cope with having to care for another person for more than a couple of days, after that he becomes resentful, surly and aggressive because the focus is no longer on him.  He is also incapable of expressing empathy, which is a very difficult personality trait to deal with in a relationship.  He is fine if everything is okay, in fact he likes to be seen as "the good guy" by appearing to be helpful, but only if other people are noticing and telling him what a great person he is as he needs constant praise and recognition.   If he just has to care for someone else, and there are no accolades in it for him, he gets restless and bored and then becomes volatile, selfish and unkind. We went to couples counselling last year where a psychologist finally diagnosed him with narcissistic personality disorder. Anyway, long story short, I was really hoping that things would be different this time ... we talked about his mood swings and he promised he would stay in control of things, but suffice it to say this is the last time I will look to him for any kind of support.  I had to ask him to leave a couple of days ago as I was incredibly distressed, not sleeping and really worried that the stress of him being there would impact on my health and treatment outcomes.  I guess I went from being afraid of being alone, to being more afraid having him there.  A dear friend has now come to stay with me for a while and I am just starting to regain my balance again and catch up on some sleep.

But I am here, and could really use some good friends right about now ... and no, no matter how nauseous, sleep deprived or anxious I have been in the last few weeks, I haven't missed one single tablet!  Side-effects wise I have been doing okay, but the last few days I have felt quite dizzy and headachey ... but that could certainly be due to the stress I have been under.

I hope you are all doing well with your treatment and I promise I will be here more regularly from now on to participate and provide some support along the way to others if I can.  Thanks for listening  ....

-- Edited by nightowl on Wednesday 29th of June 2016 12:15:55 AM

-- Edited by nightowl on Wednesday 29th of June 2016 12:21:45 AM

Ya, how's that expensive "Cheese"?  LOL

Hope all is going extremely well,

Dave

Hi Liz-  How's it going? We miss hearing from you- Are you doing ok?  Last time we heard from you things were going up and down!  Hope your having more up days than down days.

RC

Hi Liz,

Please don`t be alarmed by it. As fast as you started feeling not great your will find you will feel fine again. These side effects are transient so just know that tomorrow will be better. As Wendy said, not all days will be sunshine and roses, but honestly I think you might find that most are. I kept a journal, a small one but wanted to keep track of good days and not so good ones. It was not all that detailed but did track how much I drank, what I did on that day and how I slept the night before. Others have done the same.

I do believe most of your days will be good so try not to be anxious about one or two that are not.

Keep us posted.

SF

Not every day is going to be sunshine and roses but as you said, its better than pre treatment. And this too shall pass. Just keep taking care of you, food/hydration, rest and if you can, any exercise or stretching will help. My hormones have me exactly as you described. This age is such a joy NOT. 

hugz,

wendy

Hi guys, just checking in.  Okay ... well it looks like my "Harvoni High" has passed ... lol ... which is a bit of a shame ... but I'm doing ok.  Whilst the "brightness" has been turned down a little, I can still feel that I have more energy now than I did pre-treatment.  However, aches and pains and headaches have appeared (lower back aches), along with a bit of crankiness (lol)!   And yes, I'm keeping hydrated! ;)  Two nights ago I was dancing around the loungeroom to old Duran Duran film-clips like an idiot with SO MUCH ENERGY ... the next morning I was in bed crying for no reason and aching like a 90 year old (yes it really does feel like a battle going on in there sometimes Singsong).  So, it's been a bit up and down emotionally, but overall it's nothing I can't handle!  Hope you are all smiling and doing well too.

Get that orange juice and those Oreos ready (we have them in Aus now, but I still haven't had one yet)! ;)

Hi Liz, Glad to read your update.  It only gets better.  I don't feel it anymore, but I can remember the first 2-3 weeks just sensing that a battle was waging inside and I pictured the dragon running for cover - with no place left to hide.  And that did and does put a smile on my face.

Hi Liz,

so happy for you that you have passed that first week jitters stage and now begin to reap the rewards of your bravery. 

Hoping the rest of treatment will be as cruisie for you as it seems to be for others on the Harvoni train. 

I bet your viral load has catapulted down and that the reason you feel so much better is that your liver is getting a chance to breathe and regenerate.

 Syd 

Hi Liz

I was worried when we didn't hear from you and overjoyed it's going good for you.  Like I said to you I felt very chill on Harvoni.  Maybe because I was mellower and drugged feeling.....  For a type A person it's a nice break to relax and sleep well.  Other's complained of insomnia but I slept the best I ever have in my life and miss that great sleep now!  Back to my few hours a night and once in a while a good 7 hours!  Keep us posted... we are here.  Great idea to spend time with a friend. 

Hi Liz

You are responding exactly as per the norm: a few days of minor side effects, then none, and then starting to feel better as your VL goes down.

Pablo

Excellent news Liz,

I know everyone is very happy for you and none of us are surprised. Now as you said, you can complete your tx and along with us help the next person get on that train because there will be many who feel just like you did.

You and  Lisa can toast with orange juice and I will get an Oreo cookie ice cream smoothie blizzard but that`s another thread for another day.

Nice going, we knew you would and could do it.

SF

Hi liz,

It made my day to hear you are in control. I'd offer a glass of champagne but neither of us can drink, so a glass of orange juice it is.

Well done and keep going, any shaky moments, you know where we are....

Have a lovely day. :D x

Hi Liz,

You've got the dragon by the tail now instead of it dragin' you down ... thanks for the heartfelt words to all but it was you that got past those fears and put things into action. You should feel proud of yourself and joy in knowing that you are now on your way to SVR.

Should be a nice smooth ride from here on so kick back and enjoy the scenery, the gentle sway of the Tx train and the mesmerizing clickety clack of the polished rails.

Dave

Hi Liz, And a very good morning to you. It's 8 AM in the beautiful Pacific Nrthwest. The day looks promising-- suns out shining--today I'm in the drivers seat--I can take this beautiful day anywhere I want to go!! In order to do this, first thing I will do is check the gas-high test fuel for me today. Checking the oil-right on the full mark! Yep you guessed it I'm going around and kicking all the tires,check check and double check.Im heading out with confidence knowing I have done everything in my power to make sure I get where I want to go. What good is a shiny Red Sports car if you can't find the keys  to start it?

 After many many years of living with the disease, you have come to the fork in the road, continue down this old HCV riddled pot hole covered one lane road- which is guaranteed to beat the heck out of your Little Red Sports Car, or you can choose to take a different avenue and put fear of the unknown in the trunk with the junk and take hold of the steering wheel and start your new adventure. Your in the drivers seat now Liz.   

Cold Turkey---You started treatment cold turkey!!  You thought about if for months, you knew treatment was the right choic. You may have thought "I just want to feel normal ". What would I feel like HCV free?  Fear and complacency can keep us content with things just as they are, but in the long run they are our demise. You are a true WARRIOR. You are so STRONG. Your Conviction is deep,and your Determination is unstoppable. That vacuum left behind when you kicked fear to the curb has been replaced with JOY. Congratulations!!  RC

Hi Liz,  so glad to hear you are doing so well!   My husband, Robertsamx (RC),  along with the rest of the family have obviously been with you and concerned for you since you started your treatment.  You are correct we are ALL fortunate to have this forum to work thru this major change in our lives along with other issues we have to face.   This group is the best!  Thank you for sharing your story and journey with us. Jimmy is right you are now part of this family and valuable to the next person to start the race.  Yes Wendy,  we are getting back to who we used to be...just older and wiser new version.....  Best wishes to you Liz, and have a great week.  God Bless,   Chris ( CC) 

Hi Liz,

With regard to;

"It is so weird but I feel like a better, leaner, cleaner, sharper, faster, brighter, less exhausted, more energetic, calmer version of me. How about that, I actually feel CALMER and LESS ANXIOUS on Harvoni!  Already!  And I have actually laughed naturally quite a few times ... just because I was happy (singsong ... random waves of euphoria perhaps)? I'm not sure I've actually felt 'happy for no reason' for a very long time.   Is this really possible?"

I must be honest and say I cannot agree with you on this. In particular; "'happy for no reason'".

Girl you have EVERY reason in the World to be happy! When you reflect on what is happening, you will realize the calmer and less anxious feeling is a testimony to why one should and CAN put those feelings in place. It is the fear of the unknown that brings those feelings about and very often are proven fruitless.

There are other areas where you let anxiety take over and now you can see that YOU are in control. Harvoni is not making you less anxious. It is not making you calmer. YOU are doing that all by yourself now that you see there was nothing to fear.

Use that in your everyday walk and never let fear take hold. There are very few cases where fear is a good thing but learning how to control it leads to the ability to properly think through it.

I am so very proud of you and you will now be one of the most helpful people we have among us to assist with new folks that come in and feel a bit on edge. 

God Bless you sister!

JimmyK

Liz, you hit the nail on the head...perhaps it's also me just getting back to who I used to be? That's what I am going with!

Dear JimmyK, wendyo, Tig56, Pablito, Linuxter, K8, Canuck, Shadowfax, robertsamx, fourlocos, wmlj1960, LoopyLisa, Sydhanrahan gojuman, Tom and singsong ... WOW ... I can't believe how fortunate I am to have found all of you.  I am completely overwhelmed by your incredibly lovely, kind and caring messages.  WOW!!! Each and every one of you has been so caring and thoughtful in taking the time to send your detailed responses.  Mike Gojuman, fourlocos and LoopyLisa, thanks for sharing your stories about anxiety ... I could tell that you really understood how I was feeling and knowing you guys had started treatment despite those fears really helped!   I have been staying with a friend for moral support, so I have not had access to my home computer.  I was able to read your messages but for some reason I could not respond from the browser on my friends computer ... and even when I got home I had problems last night with Chrome ... but Explorer seems to work ... phew!  I kept telling my friend "oh no, all these lovely people will think I am completely ignoring their messages!"  Please know that this was not the case, and that I read each message and each messaged helped me ... not just to take that first pill ... but to keep going ... and now it is DAY SIX!   WOW!!!

This website is absolutely invaluable for people like me ... so I would like to continue to pay that goodwill forward and write the following for the next completely terrified person looking for support to take that first tablet:

HARVONI REALLY TRULY IS A PIECE OF CAKE ... IF I CAN DO IT, YOU CAN TOO!

Having said that, the first couple of days were a bit difficult, but not unmanageable.  I had those weird stomach pains for two days, dull headaches despite 3-4 litres of water a day and lots and lots of wind (no brussel sprouts or cabbage for me Tig56)!   Also, I take my tablet at 2pm and around 6-7pm I was just crashing and would end up napping on the couch. 

However, it is now day six and I have NONE of those side-effects!  I do feel different, but it is not a bad feeling ... it is better than normal.  It is so weird but I feel like a better, leaner, cleaner, sharper, faster, brighter, less exhausted, more energetic, calmer version of me. How about that, I actually feel CALMER and LESS ANXIOUS on Harvoni!  Already!  And I have actually laughed naturally quite a few times ... just because I was happy (singsong ... random waves of euphoria perhaps)? I'm not sure I've actually felt 'happy for no reason' for a very long time.   Is this really possible?  Perhaps it is because I feel hopeful about the future for the first time in decades ... but perhaps it is the meds, perhaps it's also me just getting back to who I used to be? Who knows?

It's a bit up and down though ... I am strangely aware that there is a battle going on inside, I can feel it ... and I do seem to suddenly have moments where I suddenly feel exhausted and a little bit queasy and headachey, and I have to say "okay, I've done too much, time for a rest".  I also got really strangely cranky over the weekend and blew up at someone for being insensitive ... but it was a clean strong angry, not an anger followed by tears, exhaustion and depression ... it was more like "I have the physical and mental energy now to bother standing up for myself and I'm not going collapse crying immediately afterward feeling anxious".  Strange ...

But really guys, if things stay the way they have been, I can actually do this!  And YOU guys got me over the starting-line!

Thankyou just doesn't seem enough!

Welcome, Nightowl.  Hi, to the rest of the Warriors.  I am almost identical to NOwl.  Geno 1a, 1.1m VL, Biopsy 1996, same results.  Treatment naive.  8 weeks Harvoni.   MY LAST PILL is tomorrow!!!!!!  I may actually miss my iPhone alarm going off at 8am.  Think I will miss the random waves of euphoria.  Won't miss saying goodbye to that mean monster.  Should find out VL by end of week.  Crossing fingers!

Side effects? Just about zero. Anna