Hep C Discussion Forum

dragonfly79 · Member

RE: frightend

Cinnamon Girl · Guru

Hi Nicole, welcome to the forum, I`m glad you found us, and I understand that you need to talk this over with other people who understand. His Hep C infection really shouldn`t be a problem for you, although his addiction to alcohol might be. From my own experience, someone with a drink problem is very likely to put up a fight against any help that is offered, so you need to be prepared for a difficult ride if you decide you want him in your life. You need to think this through very carefully, in my opinion, especially as you have two children to consider.

I wish you the best of luck with whatever you decide. We`re here if you need to talk.

dragonfly79 · Member

thank you

mallani · Guru

Hi Nicole,

HepC should not be the reason to break-up a relationship. I have never heard of a case where HepC has been transmitted between partners, but it obviously does occur(rarely). Simple precautions such as not sharing razors, toothbrushes etc are sensible. If you love this guy, you should try to help him. Getting him off alcohol is very difficult, but you should try. AA is an obvious place to start, but be prepared for a battle. Emphasize that HepC is treatable, but drinking will only make it worse. If you want a future with him, keep plugging away. It's up to you.

Loopy Lisa · Guru

I am very sorry for your prediciment. It is not easy watching someone you love destroy themselves. This forum is for sufferers and their careers to find some relief and connection to other people in a similar situation. There are many people fighting Hep C after drink and drug addcition that might be able to help you. I am sure some people will leave further comments.

Stay strong and i hope you can find some solutions, he sounds like he wants to be OK, but odesn;t know how to take the right steps. Print off information and give it to him to read x

dragonfly79 · Member

yes in reality he is and idk what else i can do. its him that needs to make the right choices and better him self, yes he has the virus but like others on here are being treated and most have a good outcome from the stories i have read. i have tried to break things off but he keeps coming back and i let him in cause he knows im a softy for him. he said he never went to get an ultra sound of his liver because he was scared. i dont know what else i can do to keep him going the right path. you ppl are the first ones i have talk to about this i have no friends and my family isnt close. . tough love is right. i want to thank everyone that has responded to me and your opinons and suggestions. i hope for the best for him i will always be here for him but i cant just sit back and watch him drink away........

Loopy Lisa · Guru

Arghh this is a difficult and different from the text you previously wrote. He sounds very depressed and is on a downwards spiral. Is there no one in your circle that can reach him on an emotional level? The truth is no one can be helped that doesn't want to be helped. I think addiction can be very strong in some people and there are plenty of people that could probably help in regards to drink/drugs and what help is needed. I am afraid I have never experienced this. Sometimes you have to put the children first, it is important they are in a safe and warm environment. Personally I would not keep this a secret from his family and friends as they may be able to help him. People would be very upset if they knew they had bought him drinks and he has Hep C.

I would look under the mental health act to see if it is possible to get him sectioned for his own good and the depression sorted. In essence he is slowly commiting suicide. Sometimes tough love is needed. I dont know what else to suggest? .....

dragonfly79 · Member

he found out he had it back n march or april i do believe then i got tested like i said i was clear and we were taking precaution but we were having another problem and its killing him too. hes an alcoholic and its killing his liver he said it all started after the Marine core and i was trying to help him along w/ his family and a doctor told him if he continues to keep doing what hes doing he has 5 years. the doc said she can help treat his virus but he has to quit drinking. and he doesnt want to he says "im going to die anyways" and i told him he should not have that kind of attitude because there are ppl that loves him and wants to help him get better but he wont let them. thats the main reason why the relationship ended because the majority of his money would go to beer and i cant live like that. i have 2 children whos father who isnt in the picture for 4 years now and i told my bf i cant raise my kids in that sort of atmosphere. he needs help so bad and i want to try my hardest to help but theres only so much i can do. my heart is telling me that i want him and hes the only one but my mind says different?

Tig · Admin

My suggestion to you is to put aside the fear of contracting HCV from your boyfriend and let your relationship bloom. The chance that you will contract HCV from him is extremely remote and there is an abundance of research to support that statement. I've been married since 79 and have a wonderful family. My best guess is that I contracted HCV in 81. I didn't find out I had it until 96. I didn't use any special safety practices during the years up to 96 when I found out about it and there hasn't been any health problems in my family as a result of that. This disease is spread by blood to blood contact, not by casual contact! My wife and I never used any type of barrier birth control during our "formative" years. If you're wondering, yes we did have unprotected sex during her periods and she didn't contract it as a result. Once we knew that that I had the disease we were able to make educated decisions and used caution when it was necessary. But by no means did it ruin anything or any part of our life together. It has actually brought us closer together. It has proven to us both that nothing is stronger than our love for each other. The love and support you can show each now will serve to make your relationship stronger. That I know for a fact. It sounds to me like your heart is telling you something, I hope you listen to it. I know you'll both be the better for it!

dragonfly79 · Member

thank you for getting back a reply i just feel so alone because not many ppl in my family know he has the disease and im not very open about it because its personal information i keep to my self. i dont know of any other sitese to go to to ask for opinions ny suggestions?

dragonfly79 · Member

hello i was in a 2 year relationship w/ someone that was diagnosed w/ hep c and i went to get tested and it came back clear i was not infected. we have been split up for 2 weeks now and i feel lost i love him very very much and he has the same feelings for me too ( we went to junior high school together) and he was in the the Marine core. so im so scared to be infected but i want to be w/ him so bad i feel complete when we are together and lost when we split up i need help because idk what to do and im confused!!! confuse

Loopy Lisa · Guru

The truth is it shouldn't matter if you love someone if something is wrong. When you marry it is in sickness and in health. Many members are in marriages, had children and the mother or father had or has Hep C. 96% of the children born to a Hep C positive mother are negative. I don't think many people heard of husbands and wives being infected living with their spouse because they took precautions.

You should ask your self what you are afraid off and learn about the disease. If a disease is a deal breaker in a relation, then consider how you would feel in his shoes. No one deserves to be treated any different than with utter repect.

Perhaps you need to go through the forum and read different posting with information. Hep C is not a death sentence but a manageable chronic disease for the large percentage. Most will cure and a small percentage will go through several cures until they succeed, Things have changed in the last 28 years, just knowledge is not always there for people to know the advancement. Hep C is curable, it is not H.IV. The small percentage that doesn't cure is because of many other factors such finding out too late, infected 40 plus years and didn't succeed in treatment, newer meds were not available, cirrhosis.

Good luck with what ever you decide.

-- Edited by Loopy Lisa on Wednesday 30th of October 2013 07:41:38 PM

-- Edited by Loopy Lisa on Wednesday 30th of October 2013 07:42:54 PM

-- Edited by Loopy Lisa on Wednesday 30th of October 2013 07:45:05 PM

-- Edited by Loopy Lisa on Wednesday 30th of October 2013 09:03:48 PM

Loopy Lisa · Guru

Hi Dragonfly,

As an infected person perhaps I am not the right person to answer. But I have been with my husband for nearly 12 years, infected probably 20 and I didn't know until this year. Frankly my husband is negative, we never took any special precaution because we didn't know I was infected, sexually, or regarding blood, so I don't understand why people get hysterical about a disease if they know someone has it and can protect themselves.

Hep C is spread through contaminated blood entering the system of another person. It is 1% of the Hep C infected that are considered to have gained it through sex because they already had ulcerated genitals, tore a sexual membrane in activites such as anal penetration (sorry to be graphic people) and there was blood involved. Simply use a condom, do not share a tooth brush, nail clippers, anything with which a person can cut themselves and you'll be fine.

To clarify most people have got Hep C through contaminated blood, dental work, surgery, innoculation contamination, nail salons, tattoos and some people sharing needles which is the smallest sub group (10 million out of nearly 200 million infected worldwide.)

You should fear more partners that don't know what diseases they have rather than people who openly tell their partner or future partner what they have, because they are protecting you. My husband didn't even bat an eyelid because I have a disease, he is only concerned I get well and cure from it.

Sorry if I seem a little unsympathetic to you plight, but you are asking a forum full of infected people permission to have a relation with someone in the same boat as us. I am very lucky no one has acted like this towards me personally. My husband is not scared to get this disease, he is scared only I am coping, feel well or will get better with treatment.

Go and learn about this disease and make an informed decision. Peace.

-- Edited by Loopy Lisa on Wednesday 30th of October 2013 07:21:16 PM

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